She was the only one
Of my flesh and blood
Now I have no calling
I can do no worldly good


I sit silent
I sit mourning
I sit listless all the day
I've mostly lost the voice to speak
And any words to say except
Does heaven have enough angels yet?


I've gone hard
And I've gone cold
I can't make the piece of this cracked life fit
Please forgive me for wanting to know
Does heaven have enough angels yet?



Together oh together
No there'll be no more of that
But I would not dare for myself to ask
Does heaven have enough angels yet ?


She was the only one
Of my own flesh and blood
Sometimes I hear her calling
Straight from the house of god

-Tracy Chapman

I miss you Mumma, every day. Happy Mother's day.

Thinking

There is so much going on in my life and every time I want a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to and get good advice from I miss my mother more. It doesn't get easier.

Thanksgiving is past and while there is so much I give thanks for I could not help missing my mum to the point of physical pain. Next is Christmas, Catelin's First. I look at her, she looks so much like my mother, and I just wish she had the chance to know her Nana.

My cousin Bobby was just given bad news. Liver cancer and a timeframe. I'm taking it hard. I don't want to loose anyone else from my family but I know when it's his time my mom will be one of the people there to show him the way. In that aspect I'm jealous.

Well we are coming up on 2 years now. Recently my best friend Heather lost her mother suddenly. From the second I heard her on my phone, hardly understanding what she was saying because of her panic, I knew. I prayed after loosing my mother that she would be old before she went through this too.

I find it amazing in some ways that all three of my closest friends are motherless. It doesn't seem right...we are all too young. Still I wonder at the fact that we all found each other in this wide world. There is a reason though I don't know that I'll ever understand it.

I'm tired of the pain and regardless of what some tell you, in the hopes of making you feel better, it doesn't get easier. It gets harder.

I watch my niece grow and I feel sad that my mother isn't here to enjoy it. How she would have loved to listen to Morgan's silly talk. How she would have loved to be there when Catelin is born....to have two granddaughters to spoil.

I will miss you every day of my life Mumma.

Another Loss

I just found out that a good friend of mine lost her nephew in Iraq. I have no way to reach her but I want her to know I'm thinking of her and her family.

Chris I hope you all find some peace in the fact that he died a hero, protecting the innocent and his brothers and sisters in arms. God bless him and keep him, and you too.

http://www.militarycity.com/valor/4069659.html

Fallen Hero© By Danny M. Underwood

I stare at the casket;

Draped with the nation's cloth.

'm momentarily startled;

As the guns go off.

Another fallen soldier;

Being laid to rest.

I struggle to breathe;

For this tightness in my chest.

The bugler so smooth;

As he hits every note.

It is hard to swallow;

Because of this lump in my throat.

Tears fall like rain;

As I look to the sky.

No matter how many times I hear it;

Taps still makes me cry.

The bugle now silent;

As we pray for the dead.

I gather myself;

As I bow down my head.

Lord bless these heroes;

Who have given their lives.

Comfort their children;

Their husbands and wives.

Let us not forget;

They have given their all.

Let the bugle be silent;

Let no more soldiers fall.

Mom's "memorial" service

Just wanted to let anyone who doesn't know that we'll be attending my mother church, Trinity Episcopal in Randolph, on Sunday 3/22/09 at 10 am to view the portrait that they dedicated to her. 3/20 will be the one year mark and it's a hard time for us all.love you all,Karen

Thanksgiving

I miss you mum...

The house is done

Well the check is in the bank. The house is no longer ours. Since I was never asked for my keys I assume that the new owners changed the locks (which would be the first thing I'd do too) and I find I can't take them off my key ring. I still have "Mom and Nana" on my cell phone too. It's amazing how many times I still hit number 4 to call and tell them something exciting.

Everyone says it gets easier to bear but I find, so far, it gets harder. Every time Morgan has a "first" or a holiday comes I feel the hole she's left that much stronger. And with Thanksgiving (which isn't my favorite holiday by far) and the other holidays coming up I feel very isolated and lonely.

I miss her MORE every day.