Two weeks and one day

Well today I get my tattoo (as longs as the artist shows me something I like of course lol).

It's funny, I expected to have a hard day yesterday. It was the two week mark and I assumed it would be a bad day. It wasn't that bad though, probably because I kept busy with chores around the house and errands around town. I had a hard time falling asleep but that's been every night for two weeks now so...whatever.

Then I woke up this morning and I've been bursting into tears all morning. I'm not sure why my mother not being here is hitting me so hard today, except that I'm about to get a memorial tattoo for my mother instead of the tattoo I'd been planning for fun.

I'm going alone. I thought it would be unfair to ask a friend to sit in the waiting room for what I expect will be about 3 hours. Plus my appointment is at 6 so most of my friends are just getting out of work. Auntie and Nana are going to be staying in Melrose tonight, I believe. That kind of stuff still changes moment to moment. So, there really won't even be anyone to show it to.

Some old friends came down to visit Nana and Auntie yesterday. The Oster's (not sure if I'm spelling that correctly). I spoke to Auntie last night (they were still there) and she said how much my mother would have enjoyed catching up with them. She said they had just been sitting around reminiscing. It's not fair, my mother would have loved to have been there. I'm sure she was in spirit. It's just not fair. She was 56 and should have had plenty of time to reminisce with old friends.

We are working on cleaning out her room on Sunday. Me, Bryan and Angela and my friend Heather are going to tag team it. I need to get it done quickly and Bryan isn't one for organizing and sorting. Even less so with my mother's belongings. It's hard because my mother was very sentimental and has a LOT of stuff (just ask Nana ^^). I found a little box with our baby teeth in it the other day. I wish I'd found it earlier. We would have put them in with our newborn pictures and the "first hair cut" locks of hair that she carried with her every day. Those went into her coffin and went with her.

Nana is doing as well as can be expected. And Auntie is holding it together well. Hopefully the estate stuff will be over quickly so she can move forward with things without worrying about that stuff. I wish we could help more but she needs so much info and they won't give that to just anyone.

Ok, stay tuned for pictures of the tattoo.